Race, stereotypes, and travel.

As travelers, many of us like to think of ourselves as more enlightened than the average person. We’ve visited other countries, experienced other cultures, and obviously that requires a certain degree of self-awareness and sensitivity.

Doesn’t it?

And yet the travel groups I follow are inundated by “Is it safe to go to” messages. People are constantly requesting guidelines to dressing conservatively. Racism, xenophobia, sexism, and ethnic cleansing are reason enough to boycott visiting certain countries, yet others get a pass.

A few years ago, I got off a 14-hour flight from China (in economy, because I’m cheap). My brain scrambled and feeling sluggishly overtired, I got in the customs line marked “U.S. Citizens and Permanent Residents”. I held my blue United States passport in one hand and noticed that the gentleman in front of me held a red passport. He was of Asian descent, and at some point he turned around to ask me a question—what it was, I forget, but I remember my answer ended with: “But this line is for United States citizens.”

My brain came to a screeching halt as I realized that I was serving up a bowl of tepid “Where are you from? You’re so exotic!”-flavored quasi-benign racism.

“Because you have a red passport,” I tried to correct, “I didn’t want you to be in the wrong line.”

He turned away and didn’t speak again, while my mind went in to overdrive thinking defensive “I’m not racist!” thoughts like a total Karen. The fact was, if he took offense then no matter what I meant, it was offensive. If he regarded it as racist, it was racist. End of story.

So. Fellow white people, let’s have this conversation. We’re not the ones who are going to be called out on it most of the time, after all. And yeah, we don’t always have a disrupted sleep schedule to blame our insensitivity on, so how about a little forethought?

Don’t be afraid of differences in food, language, culture. Have a conversation with someone new. Broaden your mind before you set foot outside your comfort zone. Instead of asking “is it safe”, find out how people live there.

And if you can…get some sleep before you speak. Or at least consider your words.